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Oct 192012

Alpha Male: The leader of the pack: the strongest, most virile.

The one who makes all the ladies swoon and wish that he would turn his attentions her way. At least that’s how he’s portrayed in fiction. So often, especially in the romance genre – but not exclusively – alpha males are romanticized. They are held up as the ideal that all men should aspire to if they want to “get the girl.” Even I will admit to enjoying a good story with an alpha male.

In real life I don’t have much time for them. They are the kind of guys who build up lots of wealth and then end up in jail. They f-k up a perfectly good sports career when they get caught publicly cheating. They think they know what I want without actually asking me about it.

What gives? Why the difference?

Being in power has certain effects on guys (and girls too, but that’s another post). It makes them confident, to the point of boldness. It encourages them to take risks, to think that they are immune to the consequences. This is part of what it means to be an Alpha male. The difference comes from the Author.

In the case of the fictional Alpha Male, there is the option to eliminate the negative consequences of that power. The Alpha Male in fiction can be confident in his approach to the heroine without ignoring her needs. In real life, he’s going to be so confident in his own position that if hers doesn’t match it won’t matter. In fiction, the author will lead him to take the kinds of risks that will endear him to the reader and heroine. In real life it’s a lot harder to tell which risks will pay off – it’s also harder to tell who is supposed to be the heroine.

There is also the attitude of women in fiction with Alpha Males. Stories with Alpha Males tend to have women who appreciate them. Again the author’s hand is visible here. If you want a good relationship you don’t pick characters who are going to drive each other to shoot each other in the head. Real life is a bit more random. I would never feature as the heroine to an Alpha Male in fiction, but I run into any number of them in my life. Mostly I get annoyed and walk away.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Alpha Males are more fun inside the neatly contained box that is fiction. So Authors… Keep writing Alpha Males. Guys… Don’t try this at home.


Thank you to Carrie Ann and her Blog Hops for leading you here.  Be sure to check out all the other blogs at http://carrieannbloghops.blogspot.com/.  Remember that one lucky commenter will be chosen at random from all the comments on all the blogs to win one of the following prizes.  (One lucky commenter right here will win a $10 gift card to Barnes & Noble).


1st Grand Prize: A Kindle Fire or Nook Tablet

2nd Grand Prize: A $130 Amazon or B&N Gift Card

3rd Grand Prize: The following Swag Pack!

  49 Responses to “Alpha Males – Fact and Fiction”

  1. I love an alpha hero who isn’t afraid of a strong female. My favorite alphas are Linda Howards’ Mackenzies…yummy. And Cherise Sinclair’s Doms from her Shadowlands series.
    email: qwilliarain AT gmail DOT com

  2. i love your blog post today and you made many fine points on alpha males and ficiton!


  3. Great post. I like novels with strong men and women who are equally able to take care of themselves and each other. I agree with you, in real life most alpha males are, shall we say, undesirable. 🙂 writer11313 at yahoo dot com

  4. Alpha traits I like to see in real life and fiction is: loyalty, intelligence and confidence 🙂

  5. I tend to prefer betas…alphas just seem like control freaks!


  6. Like reading about the strong, confident, protective male, but rather not deal with them in real life.
    skpetal at hotmail dot com

  7. I love Alphas, because I need someone as confident and dominant as me to be an equal in our relationship – I hate the feeling as if partner is less powerful than me and cannot make it without me.

    My favourite Alpha male is Gabriel from Annette Curtis Klause’s Blood and Chocolate, because he’s strong, confident and willing to fight for what he wants.

    Thanks for doing this!

    Rachel (oceanrebel333 [at] gmail [dot] com)

  8. LOL. Guys don’t try this at home. I married an alpha. Either you are one or you aren’t. You can’t fake that.

  9. agreed. alphas in the books are fun, but don’t try and control my life or I will go Medieval on your ass! 😉 sstogner1 at gmail dot com

  10. Great blog post ! I like An Alpha that is confident 🙂

    Thanks for the hoppin fun !


  11. Agreed! Alphas don’t really interest me in real life. Just in my book life.

    Thanks for doing this giveaway!
    pinkbonanza{ AT }gmail{ DOT }com

  12. I like the explanation of why sometimes these traits work better in fiction.

    Thanks for participating in the hop!

    dmr8888 at yahoo dot com

  13. I like an alpha who can deal with a strong female. xstitchdiva at att dot net

  14. Alpha are strong , and care for their loved ones.

  15. Agreed. Alphas are great in fiction but not ideal in reality.
    bituin76 AT hotmail DOT com

  16. Ha, I agree. Alpha males are great in fiction. But maybe not so much in real life. Not for me at any rate. Thanks for the giveaway. 🙂


  17. Love your post! Definitely agree with you – alphas should stay in fiction!

  18. Why I love Alpha Males is no real surprise! The perfect Alpha Male for me could be a Vampire, a Scottish Laird, an English Rogue/Gentleman, a Werewolf or Shape-shifter, or a Knight. He’s the rogue who thinks he can’t be reformed into a gentleman. He’s the rough and scarred Scottish laird that has a heart of gold. He’s the werewolf or shape-shifter that needs to heal an aching heart because it took him years to find his true mate. He’s the vampire who has waited decades for that special someone’s blood to sing to him and wake him up. And he’s the knight who can defeat the enemy with a quick swing of his sword, but can’t see the love in front of his face. My Alpha Male has eyes that can see into your soul and are as blue as the sea, or as black as a storm. He’s tall and brooding. His heart can enfold you into its grasp and make you fall in love when he gives it to you freely and completely. He is protective and passionate. In the end he is the one that makes your heart jump and butterflies fly in your stomach, and still kiss you until your legs melt!


  19. They may not be ideal in reality but I would love if I found a man with half of that alpha male confidence! Most men can’t make a simple choice by themselves… but maybe I have too high expectations after reading books about alpha males 🙂
    Thank you for the giveaway!

  20. thanks for the chance to win and enjoyed your blog post on alpha males angelwolfmystic@yahoo.com

  21. Thanks for the extra giveaway!

  22. I love an alpha male’s confidence!
    Thanks for the chance!

  23. An Alpha male is strong, passionate and protective.


  24. Thank you for the wonderful post and the giveaway! Alpha Males are my absolute favorites! They’re strong, confident, protective, sometimes a bit bossy, and of course sexy!

    verusbognar (at) gmail (dot) com

  25. Thanks for being part of the hop! I love the intelligent and protective type of alpha.

    rfg dot wwe at gmail dot com

  26. I love this post! That is how I feel too. I love a nice fictional alpha male, but in real life, I’ll pass.

    Jyl22075 at gmail.com

  27. Alpha males are awesome! Betas are too so got to love them ALL!
    Guys..don’t try this at home.. LOL
    Thanks for the giveaway and being apart of the Blog Hop!

  28. Great post, loving the hop

  29. I love my alpha man to be Dominant yet have a sense of humor. He is loyal, protective, and isn’t afraid to enjoy the small things in life.
    bournmelissa at hotmail dot com

  30. I love alpha males and how strong, loyal and protective they are.

  31. I have commented on many of blogs throughout this hop the same sentiments as you. While I love a good alpha in my reading/fantasy world, I much prefer betas in my relationships. They are much more stable and I can always get my way, being as I can be a bit domineering. I did read about the idea of Gamma’s (males with both alpha and beta qualities) and am interested in exploring the different authors takes on them. But, alas, everything is always better in a fictional book where the hero gets the girl, girl ends up with her happily ever after, and the bad guy gets his in the end. If only that were true more often in real life. Thanks so much for being in this blog hop and expressing your opinions on this topic. I enjoyed reading your perspective.
    Best Wishes,

  32. Great hop!

    Thanks for the chance!

    bacchus76 at myself dot com

  33. I definitely love to read about Alphas but would have to take an alpha/beta mix in real life. 🙂 Thank you for the chance to win!


  34. I love that Alpha Males are as fun to read about as they are to write about! My favorite quality in an Alpha Male is confidence.
    j.lennidorner AT facebook DOT com

  35. Thanks for the great giveaway!
    natasha_donohoo_8 at hotmail dot com

  36. I love the strength of an alpha 🙂
    Thanks for the awesome giveaway!

  37. My favorite alpha is Eric Northman from the Sookie Stackhouse series.

    spamscape [at] gmail [dot] com

  38. Alpha males are the best….strong, independent, fiercely protective, but on the inside they are nothing but a big ol’ teddy bear! I love the way their mouths talk filthy, but their eyes portray their sensitive sweet. They can be rough and tough in the bedroom, but still have the gentle caress of an attentive and protective lover. It’s all in the heart…..alpha males are the best!

    Jack Gordon from Liz Crowe’s REALTOR series rocks!

    Thanks for participating in the hop!

    molly at reviewsbymolly dot com

  39. Oh this is so true. I love my alpha males in books. If I had to fool with one of them in real life, I would go insane….

    koonie2888 at yahoo dot com

  40. I love alphas! Strong, Sexy and Smart! I totally agree about the differences between Alphas of fiction and reality!
    awesome blog hop!
    susanmplatt AT hotmail DOT com

  41. I love Alpha Males with a hidden soft side, that are strong, fiercely protective, take-charge, and sexy with a little dark n’ dangerous thrown in! I have so many favs, it is hard to pick just one! mygirls01@yahoo.com

  42. I love Alpha males who are strong and protecitve!
    What a great blog hop Alpha males are my favorite!
    One of my favorite Alpha males is Decebal from The Grey Wolves Series by Quinn Loftis!
    Thank you for the great giveaway!
    Latisha D
    tishajean@ charter.net

  43. I love that alpha males are strong and dependable 🙂 And they always seem to be very protective of the women in their life


  44. I think my husband is a bit of an alpha, but not nearly to the extent of what you see in fiction and I agree with you, I wouldn’t want him that way! He has just enough alpha in him to make him strong and protective, but he still knows when to let me be boss 😉

  45. I couldn’t deal with an Alpha in my real-life relationship – I am way too strong-willed for that. However, that doesn’t stop me from wanting to read about Alphas… I think an Alpha must have strength, compassion, and above all, confidence. My favourite Alpha is Adam from Patricia Briggs’ Mercedes Thompson novels. Thanks for being in the hop!

    jochibi AT yahoo DOT com

  46. Great post. Love alpha males. Thanks for the giveaway.


  47. I like Alphas who are brave loyal protective and have a wicked sense of sense of humor. Thanks for the giveaway.

  48. I love alpha heros. So hot! 🙂 I love how dominant, possessive, loyal and protective they are. Thank you for the awesome hop and giveaway! This is so much fun!

  49. I like alphas and their protectiveness.


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